Which Deli Sandwich Are You?

It’s only a sandwich. What? It’s ONLY a sandwich? Sandwiches are expressions of our personalities. Our very souls! They deliver order to chaos and bring chaos made to order… on rye. But which deli sandwich are you? Take this quiz and find out!

Start Quiz!

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Question 1/8

You’re doing a little name-calling at the refs, but there are kids sitting near you so… delicate ears. Which of these works for you?

Jerk!
Jackhole!
Putz!
Dick Cheney!

Question 2/8

You’re at a busy NY deli and the guy in front of you can’t decide what to order. He wants the Reuben. No… maybe ham. Or French dip... What do you do?

Patiently wait while dimwit decides
Suggest my favorite sandwich
Just order over him
Just order FOR him
Tell the loser to f-off back to Ohio

Question 3/8

Which of these would be your “can’t live without it” website?

Men’s Health
Art of Manliness
ESPN
Reddit
Let's just say I only go there in incognito mode in Chrome...

Question 4/8

Which of these comes closest to the biggest mistake you’ve ever made?

Marriage
That tattoo on my ass… that ended up being a meme
Taco Bell on a road trip
Forgetting my anniversary
It’s somewhere in Vegas

Question 5/8

In keeping with the English origins of the sandwich, we gotta ask which Bond is THE James Bond?

Connery, like that’s a question!
Moore, suave and sophisticated
Brosnan, witty and resourceful
Craig, tough and blue-collar

Question 6/8

Be honest: What would be your first reaction if you saw someone fall into a ditch while texting?

I’d call 911
I’d keep walking… happens every day
I’d jump in after them and render aid
I’d laugh my ass off

Question 7/8

Where do you go when you need to "get away from it all"?

My man cave
Nature
The can
Vegas... for a work conference... I swear!

Question 8/8

Nobody should EVER give themselves a nickname. But if you could steal a cool one, what would it be?

“Cap’n Crunch”
“The Hebrew Hammer”
“The Big Hurt”
“The Show”
“Mad Dog”

Calculating Result...